Spring is in the air and the winds of change are blowing through my life.
First, I offer you a halibut recipe. That may seem fairly tame, but what if I told you that I have never been a fan of halibut? And what if I told you that as I experimented with different varieties of fish for this recipe, I simply fell in love in with this dense, flaky, buttery fish?
Well I did. Halibut is not cheap, but for a special meal for 2 people this recipe hits the spot. I simply toss some fresh spring asparagus with a little olive oil then top it with some lemon slices, halibut fillet, salt and pepper, fresh thyme, and white wine. When baked in paper French style, the wine, lemon and thyme combine to create a sauce that steams the halibut to scrumptious perfection.
Learning to love halibut was not the only change in my life this week, though. I took the unprecedented step of changing my Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Relationship” this week. I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but what if I told you that is the first time ever in my singleton life that I’ve done that? I’ve been wrestling with the idea for a couple of weeks, going to that profile page and hovering my mouse over the edit button then chickening out and going back to what I was doing. But this week I finally screwed up the courage and did it.
I think this was a daunting change for me because it is such a public declaration of how I feel about a certain someone. And the thought of that relationship ending and having to change my relationship status back is even more terrifying to me. Again, because it is so public to my family and friends.
Trusting myself and my own feelings has been the biggest challenge for me in this relationship. I thought I loved someone (my ex-husband) before and that did not turn out so well for me. While that marriage left me with two beautiful children – whom I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world – that relationship of verbal, emotional and physical abuse left me with severe self-esteem and trust issues that I still carry around.
I introduced you to my new guy about 6 weeks ago, we’ve known each other for a long time but just reconnected in January. When he first told me how amazing I am and how in love he is with me, my first reaction was one of skepticism. How could he possibly love me? Doesn’t he see all my flaws? Then as I’ve worked past that self-doubt into acceptance, I’ve found myself questioning my own feelings. Is this really love that I’m feeling? Or is it just lust? I confused the two before and it’s difficult for me to trust what I’m feeling.
I’m still not completely sorted out. I can tell you that I love how he makes me feel and the picture of a future together that he paints for me is thrilling. So perhaps updating my Facebook status – publicly declaring my commitment to my family and friends – is the first step in learning to trust myself again.
Next step? Introducing him to my children.
Life is never boring, is it?
- Serves: 2
- Serving size: 1 packet
- Calories: 223.5
- Fat: 7.7
- Saturated fat: 1.1
- Polyunsaturated fat: 1.5
- Carbohydrates: 11.1
- Sugar: 0.5
- Sodium: 284.1
- Fiber: 4.9
- Protein: 27.9
- Cholesterol: 34.8
- 1 lb. fresh asparagus, trimmed and cut into 2-3" pieces
- 2 tsp olive oil
- 1 lemon, thinly sliced
- ½ lb. raw, fresh halibut filet
- ¼ tsp coarse sea salt
- ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper
- 4-6 sprigs of fresh thyme
- 2 tbsp dry white wine
- Preheat the oven to 400F.
- Lay out 2 pieces of parchment paper 20" in length. Fold down the center of the width of each, creasing it hard with your index finger.
- Divide the asparagus pieces into two halves and lay each half on each piece of parchment paper next to the crease. Toss each with 1 tsp of olive oil.
- Top each pile of asparagus with lemon slices.
- Divide the halibut into two halves and lay one half over each packet on the top of the lemon slices. Season the halibut with a bit of salt and pepper.
- Lay 2-3 sprigs of thyme over the top of each halibut piece and drizzle each with 1 tbsp dry white wine.
- Fold the paper over and, starting with the longest edge, fold the edges together, tightly creasing them to ensure a good seal. Place the packet on a baking sheet and bake at 400F for 10 minutes per 1" of thickness of the halibut filet.
- Carefully cut open the packet and serve immediately.